Lexi's Throne

Lexi has been enjoying her new Christmas gifts. We're starting to work on cause and effect, which means there are a lot of additions of noise and plastic in our living room. I guess that makes us truly into the parenting gig to have more plastic than anything else in the house! Grandma Phyllis spoiled Lexi by buying her this chair. We're hoping this encourages her trunk to develop and help her understand this sitting thing. For now, we'll just enjoy how cute she looks with her matching chair, pillow, and outfit.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Lexi had a great first Christmas, and we hope yours was just as wonderful.

Home for the Holidays

Lexi had a date with her pediatrician this morning, and we're pleased to report she was cleared to travel home for the holidays! We are not at liberty to relax her restrictions related to being around other children, and we're still expected to keep her quarantined. However, her pediatrician cleared her for travel to the Quad-Cities to be quarantined at her grandparents' houses instead.

So, we packed up the Pathfinder, hit the road around lunch time, and are cruising down the highway as we write this post (props go out to Sprint Mobile Broadband for making this possible.) Being the capable multi-taskers we are, you can see that we even fed her a bottle and snapped the above pic while rolling down I-55, so we are making pretty good time so far. Gotta be efficient and stay ahead of that winter weather.

Her pediatrician's appointment went very well. We were again told that despite Lexi's gut issues, and the constant battle required to get a few ounces in her at every feeding, she is doing rather well. She weighed in at 13 pounds, 10 ounces, which represents a pretty respectable 13 ounces gained since her last appointment Nov 29th. That places Alexis at roughly the 25th percentile for weight, which is not too shabby considering all she has been through. Even more importantly, it indicates she is doing well enough for the three of us to spend the holidays with family in the Quad-Cities, where we haven't been since last spring.

Editors note: The pictures in this post were taken in a parked car at a McDonald's parking lot just south of Springfield, IL. To those who thought we actually had Lexi out of her car seat being fed while the driver snapped pics from a car moving down the highway at 70 mph, one of two things is true. Either you are very gullible, or you have a very low opinion of our judgment and parenting skills. We do not intend to ask which of those is the case.

Lexi Syndrome

During the two months Alexis has been home with us, we have grown accustomed to interacting with her as a parent would with a 'normal' child. From bouncing her around to play 'The Old Gray Mare,' to positioning her lower body to slither into her high chair or this bumbo seat, we've gotten used to treating her as if she has no more issues to work around. Today, however, we were brought back down to earth and reminded that we've still got a number of them in front of us as well. Lexi visited her orthopedic specialist this morning, and it sounds as if the time already has come to start planning her next intubation and surgery.

Although the Pavlik Harness offered only slight improvement for her hip dysplasia while in the hospital, we had hoped Lexi could try a series of two hip casts as a second option prior to considering surgery. After this morning's consultation, though, it is clear that she will require surgery. So, sometime in February at roughly 6 months adjusted age, Lexi will make another trip to the O.R. to have her femurs cut and then surgically repositioned in their sockets with hardware. Muscles and ligaments will then be repositioned and sewn into place around the sockets, at which point she will be placed in a cast for six weeks or so. The necessity of this surgery indicates the poor kid just can't catch a break. Her hip condition probably now rules out her being a great athlete, and Mom's and Dad's genes definitely rule out her being any kind of musician, so hopefully there are still a few activities left for the poor kid to do!

We also got asked for the one millionth time today if we have completed genetic testing. We keep trying to be optimistic about Lexi's future as a normal child after battling all of these issues during her first year of life. However, it becomes increasingly difficult when 90% of doctors who see her keep suggesting that only a broader genetic condition could explain all of her problems. Another abnormality even surfaced today when it was suggested to us that Lexi has a lazy eyelid (anyone can have a lazy eye... but a lazy eyelid… now that takes talent.) After communicating to our orthopedic specialist that we have, in fact, undergone the most extensive genetic testing medical science has to offer, our specialist provided perhaps the most accurate diagnosis yet for our little girl. Her diagnosis: I guess she just has Lexi Syndrome.

Lexi's "Tude"

From the beginning, we knew our little princess had an attitude (or a "tude" as we call it in our house). We loved her spunk and attitude when she was fighting off all of her illnesses and recouperating from her surgeries. However, we're not so fond of the attitude right now when she refuses to eat her milk and get the necessary food in her. We recently found out she doesn't really discriminate who she puts her tude on display for either. Earlier this week, we had a few people over to watch the Bears-Saints game (what else do we do in our house but watch sports). I tried to show off my baby by trying to get her to smile a little more. I should know the cardinal rule by now that if you try to prove something about your child in front of other people, they are guaranteed to do the opposite.

In order to get Lexi to flash her beautiful smiles, I said how much she likes "The Old Grey Mare" song, which is a Grandma Phyllis specialty. I then bounced her on my leg and got the smiles I was looking for, that is until I dipped her and she flashed her tude lip to show everyone that she did not indeed like this game. I thought it was funny so we tried to capture it on video so you could see this tude in action for yourselves. We just hope she keeps this attitude when she is a teenager and getting peer pressured! Lexi has made up her mind at an early age to do that it's her show, and she's going to do as she pleases.

Note: please forgive the direction of the video...Brian is still learning about technology.

Daddy Daycare

This past weekend our house became Daddy Daycare. Lexi was so worn out and in need of catching up on sleep, that she fell asleep while eating her morning cereal earlier in the week! Luckily, the chaos in that movie wasn't quite what happened at home, but Brian did provide the sole care for Lexi for three full days, as I had to fly to Minneapolis for work. As a result, Brian took Friday off work and had all parental duties for the weekend. I have to say that I was amazed at what a great husband I have and a great Dad Lexi has. He not only remembered to feed and change her like most dads, but he remembered all her medicines, woke up to her cries at night, and as you saw in the last posting, dressed her and took her for successful pictures with Santa! I have to say that I love my husband even more after seeing what a great job he can do caring for our daughter (and how successful he can be in dressing her). I love this new world where men can take all the responsibilities (at least for a couple days), and I'm proud to be married to such a great Dad.

On the medical front, Lexi had an appointment to see her ENT specialist yesterday. Unfortunately, there was still a lot fluid in her ears, so she will have to have surgery to place tubes in her ears to drain the fluid over time. Although this is a common procedure that many kids endure, we were hoping that she would catch a break for once and not have to go down this road. We did get a consolation prize when they said they could coordinate this surgery with her orthopedic specialist's surgery on her hips, so she only has to be put under once. We're just glad that it is another thing that appears to be fixable.

Here Comes Santa Clause

What do you do when your child's immunity system is too fragile to take her to the crowded malls to meet Santa during her very first holiday season? You bring Santa Clause to her!! Thanks to the brilliant idea and wonderful planning by fellow NICU parents Todd and Carrie, Lexi got to meet Santa Clause this afternoon. They invited about a half dozen other babies who spent time in the St John's NICU this summer and fall to their house to give them the opportunity to meet Santa Clause for the first time. Hanging around other children generally is off limits for NICU babies who need to be quarantined for the winter months. However, provided NICU babies follow their marching orders once they go home, doctors say they can hang out with other NICU babies since all have avoided this exposure.

We're pretty sure Lexi doesn't comprehend the logic surrounding which kids she can and cannot be around. However, she sure seemed to understand just how cuddly Santa's lap can be, as she seemed to enjoy the experience all three times she sat on Santa's lap. Now that doesn't mean Santa Clause got a free pass in hanging out with her this afternoon. As you can see in the picture, even Santa Clause had to be studied thoroughly before Lexi decided she was comfortable with the whole arrangement!

5 Months of Breaking Rules

When babies are born, parents are given all sorts of instructions regarding what not to do with babies. The list of instructions is endless and detailed to the point that you can't possibly remember everything you aren't supposed to do. In our exactly five months of parenthood, we have found that some things that are worth breaking the rules:

1. Rule: Never sleep with your infant in your bed.
We agree that you shouldn't sleep all night with an infant in the bed with you, as you do run the risk of rolling over on top of them (especially Brian who sleeps so soundly that his roommate in college threw Nerf balls at him in the morning when he wouldn't hear his own alarm!). However, we are big proponents that after the 18th straight night of getting up several times during the night, and when just 30 more minutes of snooze time in the early morning hours would do you wonders, placing your baby in your arms in bed while you lightly nap for a few more minutes is acceptable. You don't risk rolling over them, as your own arms prevent that, and the reward of even just five more minutes of sleep is totally worth it. Plus, they think it is snuggy time and lay there happily.

2. Rule: No sugar or sweets before the age of one.
Okay, so this one technically was broken on our behalf at the hospital when she got a little sucrose here and there from the time she was a day old baby. Then, she continued to get sugar almost daily to ease her pain and distract her from all the needles pokes and painful tests she was enduring. We don't think most parents would need to break this rule (or want to...why let them know that there is something better out there so soon!), but we are fans of repeatedly breaking this rule for Lexi. In fact, when faced with severe eating issues, we actually suggested placing sugar in the breast milk to see if the sweetened taste made a difference. Although we wish this solution solved her eating issues, we were kind of glad to see that maybe she doesn't have such a big sweet tooth from all the early sugar after all. We haven't abandoned sugars and sweets, though, as sweet vanilla flavored Elecare is our next experiment to try to get her to eat.

3. Rule: Don't leave babies unattended.
Almost every baby gear item warns parents not to leave a baby unattended. We're not saying leave the baby alone in the house and run to the store, or leave a baby on the changing table as Brian has had to learn. However, we do feel it is better to leave Lexi strapped in her swing or bouncy seat in the family room as opposed to holding her while opening the hot oven or taking her to places like the bathroom. In these instances, we encourage you to ignore the warnings within reason and go with your instinct.

4. Rule: Ensure no bumpers line babies' cribs.
The whole bumper thing, in my opinion, is a big marketing ploy. New moms excitedly pick out their baby bedding for their nursery. As soon as they have it all painted, decorated, and the cute bumpers are affixed to the edge of the crib, they turn on a Today show special on baby safety to find warnings against using bumpers or quilts. So, why does every bedding set include these? If this is the case, it should include a bed skirt, 14 sheets for the middle of the night accidents, and curtains instead. Given all of us have already purchased these, though, let's unite together and leave on the bumpers for the first couple months. What babies are going to roll to the edge of the crib and suffocate themselves as their first movements in life? Seriously, I say when they start to show signs of actually moving, then you remove them. Until then, proudly show them off with your nursery.

5. Rule: For children with hip displacia, don't put them on their hips.
In theory this is a great rule, as you don't want to risk further damage to already unstable hips. However, the reality is much different, so we have been forced to break this rule constantly. Lexi has learned to roll onto her side, and when she sleeps, she often works her way into this position. As a mother trying to catch any little bit of sleep, or actually get some of my work done, I'm not about to wake my sleeping child just because she happens to roll on her side. A little time on them is just going to have to be okay.

Bunch Family Weekend

Thanksgiving Day was spent quarantined from the crowds associated with large holiday family gatherings, but part of the Bunch family did make its way to St Louis on Saturday morning to spend the weekend with us. Uncle Jason had flown to St Louis once previously to meet Lexi, but this time his girlfriend Jessica was able to join him on the trip and see her.

Our little diva was the focus for much of the weekend, but Jason, Jessica, Laura, and Brian did get the opportunity to go out for a little while on Saturday night while Grandpa Kevin and Grandma Deb held the fort down and handled a feeding or two. We tried to play it cool and just give some general guidelines to Grandpa and Grandma, but ultimately some handwritten instructions were requested of us so they could keep everything straight -- more evidence our lovely feeding and changing rituals just aren't normal. We thought about telling them to just look back at previous postings on the blog, but opted for a few handwritten notes laced with much less sarcasm instead. Our Saturday night out was a lot of fun, as we had a few drinks at a neighborhood watering hole and then introduced Jason and Jessica to a great Indian restaurant in town. However, we're confident that their Saturday night with us ended about the time they probably go out in the first place in Orlando!

Eating Enigma

We had a visit with Lexi's pediatrician this morning. She weighed in at 12 pounds and 13 oz. Although she technically did gain weight between now and her most recent appointment, her gaining only 5 ounces over the last 3 weeks is not a good thing. On average, they are looking for healthy babies to gain about 3-4 ounces per week. The pediatrician informed us that Lexi is eating enough to keep herself hydrated, but obviously not enough to achieve desired growth. Needless to say, this concerns us greatly and reaffirms our suspicion that she isn't like other little kiddos quite yet. The good news is that she is keeping herself out of the hospital and seems to be good natured. The bad news is that we need to continue trying to figure out not only why she isn't taking more in, but why she doesn't really have an interest in eating during most of her feedings.

Our newest game plan is going to be increasing her rice cereal to two times a day in addition to feeding her the same number of bottles. We're also going to switch back to using special Elecare formula instead of breast milk next week, in order to see if she still needs predigested formula to eat and absorb what she needs. The thought is that she can soak up nutrients easier if it is predigested, and hopefully that will lead to some healthy weight gain once again. Lexi's feedings certainly are stressful experiences and a double edged sword. On one hand, we find ourselves hoping they identify something medically wrong with our child, so that we can diagnose her eating problems and know how to fix them. On the other hand, we hope they don't identify any issues, as no one wants more medical issues associated with their child. Lexi's eating issues were made even more frustrating this morning by the hard evidence she is not gaining enough weight, but we will just keep trying different things and hopefully find the right combination at some point.

Thanksgiving Day Feast

On this Thanksgiving Day, we have lots for which to be thankful. For starters, we have a beautiful daughter that has already defied so many odds to be here with us and bring us so much joy. She continues to be a fighter, and we are so thankful for her demeanor and stature. We also have wonderful family and friends that have been supportive through these last few stressful months. We are just thankful you are all in our lives. Finally, we are thankful to have each other. The more we go through, the more we are glad that we have each other to do that. In light of the awful events in India, we are thankful that we remain safe and surrounded by wonderful people.

We are also thankful for Lexi's progress. We had several newsworthy things emerge today, which was a lot of fun. For starters, Lexi got her first solid food today, a rice cereal Thanksgiving Day feast. Our expectations for how she would handle it were very low after talking to several parents who said it pretty much runs down their face. However, Lexi again proved she does everything her own way. She moved her tongue and mouth almost right away, and she managed not only to keep the food in her mouth, but also to actually swallow it as well. We were so proud of her. Feeding her bottles has been a nightmare lately, but apparently, she likes the solid food, which is great.

Lexi also shocked both of us by rolling over today from her tummy to her back. We're not certain we can officially say that she is rolling over in general. We're sure it will be just like the giggle where it happened once and then was nearly impossible to get her to do again. As parents, you think your kid does something and all of a sudden they are masters. The reality we are starting to realize is that they can do something one day and then it can be several days before they figure out how to do it again. Regardless, while getting in some tummy time (or T-time as we have started calling it), she rolled off the wedge under her belly onto her side. Then, she flipped her legs over rolling onto her back. I quickly put her back on her stomach again, and she repeated it two more times. The fourth time, though, she promptly threw a fit and put her head on the ground declaring defeat. We don't expect a repeat performance for a while, but it was fun to get that surprise on Thanksgiving and remind us once again that we have a lot to celebrate this year.

Lexi's Special Visitor

We had a special visitor this week. Well, actually Lexi had a special visitor. As we are slowly realizing, people don't come to see us anymore... it's all about the baby! One of Lexi's NICU nurses Toika mentioned that she would love to see Lexi since it has been over a month since Lexi left the NICU. Toika works nights, and we obviously have our doctor visits during the day, so she never gets that chance around the hospital. So, we invited her to stop by our house and see her in person, which she did. As you can see from the picture, Lexi enjoyed the visit and gave Toika many smiles throughout the afternoon.

Toika made us smile, too. You see, Lexi hasn't been eating the best lately. And when I say lately, I guess she really hasn't eaten the best ever. However, some days it is better, and some days worse. The last couple of days probably have been about the worst since she came home, as she has only been taking an ounce or two at a time and screaming her way through most feedings. Since our pediatrician gets concerned at 3 ounces, noting that is enough to keep her hydrated but not allow her to grow, 1 or 2 ounces really concerns us to say the least. However, Toika kindly pointed out that tears in Lexi's eyes, which we saw for the first time today, and saliva and bubbles in the mouth, meant she couldn't be dehydrated. So, that made us feel a little better. We will give it another day or so, and if she still isn't taking more milk, we'll probably place a call to our pediatrician to discuss things. Being NICU and "gut baby" parents, it's hard to know when you really should call the doctor, and when you are witnessing things that are not normal for most babies, but are normal for yours. As Toika says, we just have to trust our instincts and hope those are right.

Bears Victory

It was a sports weekend in the Bunch Household. Last spring, the announcement was made that the Bears were going to be playing the Rams in St. Louis. Since this doesn't happen every year, Brian got excited. So, we invited some fellow Bears fans down for the weekend to go to the game. Lexi celebrated by wearing her new hat and booties to support Dad's team. Dad got some fun time with the boys, checked out the stadium and did some tailgating, and got to see a Bears win.

Making the trip to St Louis for the weekend were Zeb and Jasmine Gilliam from Chicago, and Brian Merkel, Jim Wilkison, and Jim's fiance Dari from LeClaire, IA. The guys got a great weekend of football, highlighted by the Hawkeyes 55-0 pounding of the rival Gophers on Saturday night and the Bears 27-3 pounding of the Rams on Sunday. The girls got a Saturday afternoon trip to the mall and a lot of time with Lexi on Sunday, as evidenced by this picture of Jazzy spending some one-on-one time with Lexi.

Million Dollar Baby

With all due respect to Hilary Swank, we have the real Million Dollar Baby living in our household.

Every time Lexi flashes smiles our direction or showers us with coo's, we can't help but think she's worth a million bucks to us. However, when we make the bold assertion that she is the true Million Dollar Baby, we're not talking figuratively... we're talking literally. Not surprisingly, health care costs have played a significant role in our lives in the back half of 2008, and as of last week, successfully processed claims for Alexis Bunch have totaled $1,268,678.40. And believe it or not, that doesn't include the $466,684.94 in claims presently outstanding.

This Friday ends annual benefits enrollment for 2009, an event many people recognize as important, but fight the urge to quickly make a few selections and move on. We will be eternally grateful that we actually chose our options very carefully a year ago at this time for 2008, particularly when it came to health care benefits. Anheuser-Busch offers five medical plan options for its employees, and we obviously chose the one we felt would give us the best combination of coverage and flexibility, knowing that starting a family was a possibility on the horizon. Turns out our choice proved far more important than we ever could have imagined. Of the five health plans offered, four of them have lifetime maximum coverage per individual set at $1 million. Fortunately, we chose the plan behind door #5, which provides for unlimited lifetime claims. That particular provision certainly sounded like one of little relevance to a completely healthy 20-something year-old couple at the time, but Lexi changed that in a heartbeat -- literally. As a matter of fact, she was born in July and surpassed the $1 million mark in claims in September. We would prefer that Lexi channel her energy in other directions in the future, but by surpassing a lifetime claims threshold in less than three months of life, she clearly has demonstrated that we have an overachiever on our hands!

The year 2008 has been the most stressful one in either of our lives by a wide margin. However, this time of year is for focusing on what we are thankful for, and we have more things to be thankful for this year as well. Most importantly, we are thankful for Lexi's birth and for her continued success in overcoming some pretty serious health obstacles. However, we're also thankful to have outstanding health care benefits during these times, as well as a specific health plan which allows for unlimited lifetime coverage. We take for granted that Lexi is worth more than a million dollars to us. We're just grateful we had insurance coverage in 2008 which viewed her as more than just a Million Dollar Baby.

Mom and Dad's Play Date

Mom and Dad got a little play time of their own on Saturday night. Since they can't take Lexi anywhere, and since Lexi still has enough issues that it wouldn't be fair (or smart) to ask a teenager to watch her, we are limited in our social outings these days. However, the only restrictions on having adults over to the house are that they are healthy. So, our healthy friends Leah and Gary came over Saturday night for some pizza and socialization, which was a lot of fun for Mom and Dad. Lexi cooperated by giving our guests some friendly interaction for an hour and so, and then going to sleep around 7:30 and giving us the rest of the night to hang out. Before her snooze fest, though, you can see that Leah took the opportunity to play with her and get quite a few smiles from her. Given the last time Leah saw her was when Lexi was in the hospital and fairly sick, it was nice for her to see Lexi doing so well this time around.

Making Good Progress

Lexi continues to thrive at home. We even managed to get a few more laughs out of her today as well. It continues to amaze us what makes her laugh and what doesn't even crack a smile. Apparently Mom and Dad are not good judges of their own humor. She also has started grasping onto objects. Her favorite is the one in the picture, which gives her many options to grasp and allows her to achieve this goal more frequently.

We also think we have figured out the reason behind her eating difficulties over the last couple weeks. We decided to try her back on acid reflux medicine despite her not really puking, coughing, chewing, or showing the other classic signs of reflux. Because she continued to decrease her interest in eating, and it continued to be a struggle to get enough down her for her development, we introduced Prevacid again, since there aren't any side effects. After just three days of being on the medicine, Lexi is actually crying when we take the bottle out of her mouth instead of when we put it in. Plus, she knocked down almost 5 ounces during two of her feedings today, an amount she has never approached before. We're glad that we continued to try different things to get her there, as it appears the simple addition of Prevacid has made a big difference.

A Laughable First Month

Exactly one month ago today, we brought Alexis home from the hospital. To celebrate the anniversary of this joyous occasion, Dad took the day off of work to spend and cherish every waking hour with his little girl throughout the day. Actually, I'll come clean and confess that I didn't actually have to take a vacation day to be at home today. No, I didn't lose my job (the Anheuser-Busch shareholder vote is not until tomorrow, so my job should be safe until at least Thursday or Friday!) A-B actually closes its offices for Veterans Day, so that was the reason I was able to spend today at home with Daddy's Girl.

Today turned out to be the perfect time for a floating holiday. Yes, it was nice to celebrate the fact we've survived a month at home without having to usher Lexi back to the hospital as we had feared. More importantly, though, it was perfect timing because the afternoon brought a fun little milestone that Dad might have missed if he was at the office. While interacting with Lexi in a ridiculous game which can only loosely be compared with patty cake, Lexi actually laughed for the first time in her life. Lexi has passed out smiles like they're going out of style virtually since birth, but today was the first time she giggled to go along with it. We were pretty pumped up about the experience, so naturally we repeated the same game at least a dozen more times. We had the satisfaction of getting a lot more laughter out of her, until the point at which she finally flashed us a look representative of the one in the picture that let us know enough was enough!

Special Friends

Lexi had a special friend come visit this weekend. Although neither realized the significance, their moms did. Laura's dear friend Suzanne came to meet Lexi, and she brought with her her daughter. No, we have not been given clearance to have Lexi around kids yet, but since this baby is still in the belly, we were fine. Suzanne and her husband Todd are currently expecting their first child, a daughter due in February, and Suzanne and I have already decided that they will have to have a special bond. So, Suzanne came to meet Lexi and semi-introduce her daughter to ours. Lexi got a little excited and promptly used her legs to lightly kick her friend-to-be. We hope that in the future Lexi learns to play a little nicer, or our plans as Moms might not happen!

No More Sleepless Nights?

While our friend Jessie was here, we took Lexi on her first trip down to see the arch. The doctors have said that we can be outside (weather permitting) since germs can't really make it through the wind to her. So, we took advantage of the nice days over the past week or so and went for a stroll in the park.

Although today didn't bring with it the greatest weather, it was a pretty good day nonetheless. We went to the pediatrician for Lexi's 4 month checkup. She weighed in at 12 lbs. 4 oz, which the doctor was very happy about. She is in the 25th percentile for weight and 3rd percentile for height. We were happy, too, as the doctor said that since her weight gain has been sufficient, we can now feed her according to her cues instead of in accordance with a pre-established schedule. This also means that we can allow her to sleep through the night if she's capable of doing that. Needless to say, this last change is a very welcome one, as we hope we can start getting a little more sleep. However, Lexi has recently decided that 6:00 is her bedtime, and she isn't always as tired in the middle of the night as she used to be. Go figure -- she is still trying to show us who the boss is. So, we now need to adjust the tired time to align it with our sleep schedule a little more. How to convince a 4 month old of that is another story, but hopefully we'll come up with a game plan soon.

The doctor also was pleased that Lexi's thyroid levels seem to have stabilized, her head is getting its shape back, and her neck muscles seem to be strengthening finally. So, we were ordered to keep up the torturous tummy time, let her sleep through the night, and supplement her milk with regular formula instead of the predigested formula. We'll welcome all these changes and look forward to more fun outings when given the opportunity!

Minnesota Helper

Jessie, our good friend from Luther College, flew down from the Twin Cities, MN, to meet Lexi, spend some time with her, and help us out for a few days. She left her adorable 1 1/2 year-old to spend time with us instead. Since we can't really leave the house for the most part, Jessie was welcomed into our lifestyle of staying home for long periods of time. However, Jessie embraced our circumstances, and the weather has been gorgeous here the last few days, so we were able to get out some. Yesterday, we took Lexi to Castlewood Park near our house to walk on the paths in the wooded area by the river, and today we went for a walk around the neighborhood. Thank goodness for the good weather, or we really would have been cooped up.

Brian also played all-star Dad by watching Lexi for two of the three nights to allow Laura and Jessie to go out to dinner. Since Laura is quarantined full time with Lexi, it provided a few much needed hours out of the house. During the days she was here, Jessie helped entertain Lexi while Laura worked, as well as sat in the car with Lexi, so Laura could run errands to OfficeMax, Sams, and Babies'R'Us. Jessie also has introduced us to new ideas with Lexi, including exploring ways to get Lexi to tolerate tummy time better. So far, no great success stories, but some great ideas and some fun new toys!

Lexi Turns 4 (Months)

Today we celebrate four months of life for little Lexi. Although much of this time has been accompanied by a healthy dose of fear, it also has been the most exciting four months of our lives. In honor of Lexi reaching this milestone, we briefly recount the last four months...

1st month: The day Lexi was born, we were very excited to welcome her into the world. Although immediately we were a little scared, we were ecstatic to have such a beautiful daughter. In the next month, we faced a major surgery, an ongoing illness that threatened her life, and a variety of other challenges, but she showed she was a fighter and indicated we would get through all of these challenges in the coming months.

2nd month: In Lexi's second month, we thought we would get to leave the hospital and enjoy her company in our own home. Instead, we slowly tried to work on getting her up on her feeds and getting her intestines to do the work required. After another slight bout with illness, we readjusted plans, and she went in for her second surgery instead. All was successful, and she really began to smile during this time, which was great to see. The fact Alexis could smile through all this said wonders for her amazing personality.

3rd month: In Lexi's third month, she really began to develop. We spent many days on the hospital floor doing tummy time, batting at toys, swinging in the swing, and learning to coo. Lexi also had her third intestinal surgery, and after some of the scariest moments of all, we were finally able to take her home. Although the adjustment to having her home during the first couple days was a little rough, we were excited to finally relax on our own couch and flirt with experiencing normal parenting.

4th month: The start of the fourth month has gone great so far. We're excited to see the daily progress that she makes with her head control, eating, and hopefully sleeping through the night (if the pediatrician will ever let us allow her to sleep through the night!) She has started grasping toys with our help and really likes the variety of stimulations at home. Her demeanor is great (for the most part), and we are having a ton of fun watching her grow outside the confines of the NICU. Although we have a body cast for her hip dysplasia to look forward to, all indications are that she is healthy overall and has adapted well so far, and we are loving finally having our little girl in our own home!

Happy Halloween!

The Big 3-0 Hits

Brian turned the big 3-0 today on the 30th. Lexi took the opportunity to wish him a happy birthday with a sign, since she can't talk yet! She also bought him a jogging stroller, so the two of them can run together. Probably not the present you hope for on your 30th, but Lexi really wanted to go on adventures with her dad, so she thought it was the perfect gift. We figure that just proves how much our lives have changed in the last 4 months.

Mom and Dad took the opportunity to have their first night away. Well, we had technically had nights away while Lexi was in the hospital, but this was the first since she got home, and we weren't leaving her with a nurse. Instead, Grandma Phyllis babysat, so Dad could have a happy hour with some co-workers. Following that, we went out to dinner and got some adult conversation in. All in all, it was a good first night away and a good 30th birthday.

Splish Splash

Lexi got to experience her first ever bath at nearly 4 months of age. No, she hasn't been the stinky kid all this time, although with how much she screams at bath time, we think she probably would prefer that. Because of all her incisions, surgeries, etc., she has not been able to get into standing water since the day she was born. Instead, we have always had to give her a sponge bath, which she absolutely hates. So, today she actually got her first real bath. Although she didn't seem to like it any better than her sponge bath, we're hoping that she develops a love for her baths...or at least a toleration.

The reason we were able to give her a bath today is we finally got clearance from her surgeon that all of her holes are healed and looking good. In fact, he was so happy with how she looks, that he doesn't want to see her back for another two months, which we think is great. We figure the further we can get between appointments the better! We also saw her "eating specialist" doctor today, and she doesn't want to see Lexi for another couple months either. She even said we could start introducing solid foods on the same type of schedule as other babies...further evidence that things must be going well. Plus, she said when we run out of the fancy, expensive formula with which we are using to fortify her breast milk, we can switch to fortifying her milk with regular formula like any other baby. When the words "like other babies" get mentioned, we can't help but get excited that we are finally nearing the point when Lexi can be considered normal.

We also took the opportunity, since we were at the hospital anyway, to stop by the NICU. Although we vowed never to go back there again, we figured Lexi was doing well enough that we could stop by to say hello to some people. It turned out her primary, Paula, as well as two of our other favorite people, Joan and Stephanie, were all working. They all rushed over to see her, commented on her weight gain (she currently weighs 11 lbs, 10 oz), and said she looks great. That was music to our ears, as when you see her every day, you can't see the changes quite as easily. When people who have known her intimately for her first 3 1/2 months of life say she appears to be doing great, that's just further evidence we have quite the little fighter on our hands!

Sunday at the Pumpkin Patch

Given Lexi is restricted from going out in public this fall and winter, we can't load her into her car seat and hit any apple orchards or pumpkin patches this year. However, we decided today that if you can't bring Lexi to the pumpkin patch, you just bring the pumpkin patch to Lexi instead!

We're still a little envious of all the new parents we know taking their precious little ones on these types of fall expeditions. We're also a little bummed we can't take our girl to the pumpkin patch at our church in particular, as it is known throughout the city for its great pumpkin patch which is visible right off the highway. However, we still found a way to enjoy the beautiful fall weather and give our baby the pumpkin patch experience, even if it all occurred on the deck just outside of our kitchen. Grandpa Kevin was kind enough to share some of his garden's fall harvest with us several weeks ago when he visited, so we just couldn't resist the temptation to put it to good use this afternoon.

Grandparents Weekend

Grandpa Kevin and Grandma Deb were kind enough to return our pooch this weekend, and they earned the right to hang out with Lexi for a few days in the process. They had visited Lexi multiple times in the NICU, but they really were looking forward to the opportunity to interact with her outside of the hospital environment for the first time. All indications were that they enjoyed their time with her, as they battled for holding time and kept commenting on how much stronger the bonding experiences were now that she is healthy and in the comfort of our home. As for Lexi, she seemed to enjoy these experiences as well. Not only did she get constant attention and 24/7 cuddling time, but she seemed to never stop smiling as well.

Puppy Love

We had a long-awaited reunion today. When we determined that Lexi's stay in the hospital was going to be long term, we decided to send one member of our family off to the grandparents for awhile. Although we didn't want to part with our golden retriever Wrigley, we knew we couldn't give her the attention she needed with consistent walks, bathroom breaks, etc, while we essentially were living at the hospital. We were glad with our decision in the long run, and we think so was Wrigley, as Kevin and Deb took excellent care of her and love to have her around at their house and cabin in Iowa every chance they get.

Now that Lexi is back home, though, we promptly invited Wrigley to come back and live with us. So, Brian's parents brought her down to bring our entire family together for the first time. Things have been good so far, as the two have pretty much ignored each other besides the forced meetings where we have tried to introduce them. However, they both have been trying to compete for people's attention, so I guess that's their primary form of interaction at the moment. Lexi has won that battle so far, and we figure Wrigley better find her place in the new hierarchy sooner rather than later anyway. We hope Wrigley is happy just to be back home, as we were concerned at one point that Lexi's condition would prohibit it. Fortunately, the docs say that although children are off limits, pets are fair game, so we don't have to worry about that. It's definitely great to have our two girls under one roof now!

Newly Revised: How to Change a Diaper

A couple months ago, I did my best to prepare prospective dads for fatherhood by offering some simple steps for how to change a diaper. I felt woefully unprepared for these duties after Lexi was born, as nobody had told me how to maneuver Pavlik harnesses, change out ostomy bags, and do these sorts of things.

However, I must confess that since that time, I have discovered many of these things were only temporary and were unique to our child, so you probably don't have to worry about much of that information. That said, I don't want to leave Dads hanging, so I thought I would at least update my advice. Granted she has horrendous diaper rash, and a few other medical issues still persist, but Lexi is home now, so the way we are changing her diaper now must be normal, right?

1. You first need to talk to your child about what is about to unfold, as seen in these pictures; Gimmicks like binkies and stuffed animals no longer serve as effective distractions, so open and honest communication is now your best option for avoiding tempter tantrums during diaper changes.

2. Lay your child in the tray attached to the top of her pack'n'play; Hope and wish the thing is already put together, as stories of Dads unsuccessfully trying to assemble this contraption are legendary.

3. Do not walk away from the pack'n'play under any circumstances when following these steps; In your estimation, it might take an Olympic gymnast to springboard out of the tray, but some individuals in the household feel the child in front of you is capable of doing just that.

4. Undress your child; Survey the scene for snaps, buttons, and zippers, as all are in play and capable of stopping you; You will soon subscribe to my conspiracy theory that children's clothing manufacturers mandate no two outfits on the market use the same fastening tools in the same locations.

5. Open and inspect your child's dirty diaper; Formal documentation of its contents no longer is required, but mental notes still are, as doctors will ask you to recall the contents vividly and report the number of wet diapers per day.

6. Clean the area by squirting water and allowing it to run down front to back; Buy a cheap water bottle for this instead of sporting one from your college athletic days, as the latter will only offer constant reminders of just how drastically your life has changed.

7. Allow the area some time to air dry; Hope your child doesn't go again in the mean time, thus requiring the process to start all over again; Learn the painful lesson time and again that cold air on the skin is your arch nemesis in this situation.

8. Blot the skin with Mylanta, operating under the assumption it can combat harmful acids on the way out as well as in the stomach; Try not to get hung up on the fact that your child might be the only creature on the planet using Mylanta both inside and outside of her body.

9. Put on rubber gloves and apply Triple Paste to the skin and in the crack; When Desitin and normal pastes fail to provide a good enough barrier, up the ante and use a paste so thick that industrial drilling equipment probably couldn't even penetrate it.

10. Top off the Mylanta and Triple Paste masterpiece with baby powder; Wait for your pediatrician to suggest using baby powder, as inquiring yourself in the hospital will make you feel like a bad parent when you're told powders can cause irreparable damage to babies' lungs.

11. Put on a new diaper; Consider yourself blessed that the fine folks at P&G opted for velcro on their Pampers instead of snaps, buttons, or zippers; Seriously, these people should talk to the aforementioned clothing manufacturers (see conspiracy theory).

12. Dress your child in a clean outfit; Take caution in assuming the outfit that went on a few hours ago is still clean; The member of your household representing quality control will bust you every single time you make that assumption inappropriately.

13. In the likely event an outfit change is needed, be sure to choose an appropriate outfit given the time of year and time of day; You subject yourself to public ridicule if you choose an inappropriate outfit for the season, or if you fail to select jammies and a sleep sack at night.

14. Never complement shoes or accessories during this process; Hypothetically speaking, if you were to note how amazing it is your child's shoes actually stay on her feet, you risk being told they are expensive Robeez, and your previous comment haunts you by forfeiting your right to complain about the price.

15. Repeat these steps every three hours; The ignorant around you will tell you a 3 or 4 month old child can go twice that long at night, but the medical community will tell you that your child will waste away to nothing if you try to pull that stunt.

Road Trippin' to the Pediatrician

This past weekend we loaded Lexi into her car seat and took her to the pediatrician's office for the first time. On one hand, this seemed like a big first time event. When the receptionist asked us if we had come for a newborn first time check-up, we answered 'no' since our child is 3 1/2 months old, but we were later informed this was indeed a newborn first time check-up.

On the other hand, this seemed like a routine visit to someone with whom we were very familiar, not just because of how accustomed we have become to doctors, but because of how frequently we have interacted with this particular doctor in the past. The pediatrician we selected based on a simple neighborhood recommendation probably has seen more of Lexi to date than anyone besides the two of us. She visited Lexi in then NICU every single morning since the day she was born, virtually without exception and despite the fact she works in a completely different hospital. This would be great under any circumstances, but it became especially important in Lexi's case as her NICU stay became longer and longer. Not only did Lexi have yet another advocate checking in on her, ordering tests, and brainstorming possible treatments, but it also meant that she probably knew more about Lexi before her first 'newborn check-in' than some doctors would know about patients on the books for several years.

As for the visit itself, it went very well. We are accustomed to weighing Alexis completely naked, but the weigh-in with her diaper on came in at 11 pounds, 1 ounce. Given she left the hospital at around 10 pounds, 8 ounces, she appears to be right on track for the 5-7 ounces per week that they would like to see her gain. Aside from her weight and 22" length, everything else looked pretty good as well. Yes, she still has too much fluid in her ears from the ear infection she developed by being on the ventilator for so long. And yes, she still has the world's worst case of diaper rash. However, those issues certainly are minor by comparison, and they are a far cry from what was on our mind even just a week or two ago.

First Play Date

Lexi had her first play date last night. Well, really it was a much needed play date for Mom and Dad, but she did have her best friend NJ come over to the house. Yesterday, we asked our Pediatrician about the restrictions on kids, hoping she would say limited contact was okay. Instead, she informed us that absolutely no kids should be around Lexi until March or April, noting that Lexi should pretty much 'live in a bubble' until that time. We clarified if that meant nobody could visit the house, or if a baby Lexi's age could come over but stay on the other half the room. Our pediatrician said that probably the latter scenario would be okay if a baby of the same age got nowhere near Lexi, the baby had not been sick, and the baby did not play with any of Lexi's toys.

So, we promptly took that opportunity to invite our friends Tim and Heather, and their daughter NJ, who is one month older than Lexi, over for dinner and a little St Louis - Chicago hockey action. NJ and Lexi played together across the room by crying and trying to battle for people's attention. NJ didn't get near any of Lexi's stuff, and Tim and Heather were great about making certain she kept her distance. We're hoping that the only thing Lexi picked up from NJ last night was her hairstyle, as look at all those locks! It was a successful first play date, and one we hope we can repeat soon, even if it is at the distance required now.

A Good First Week at Home

Although Alexis was unplugged from her IV's and sent packing from the hospital last weekend, she has not seen the last of doctors and nurses by any stretch of the imagination. For starters, we actually had to schedule six appointments for Lexi for the first two weeks following her hospital stay, as that was a prerequisite to our bringing her home. We also were asked to schedule in-home visits by nurses a few times each week for the next couple of months. Part of the motive for this probably is aimed at giving us confidence she is genuinely okay given what she has been through, but the main reason is to give Lexi a head-to-toe check more frequently than would be possible with periodic visits to her pediatrician or various specialists.

One of the biggest benefits of these home visits as far as we're concerned is the arrival of the infant scale along with the nurse. Weight gain is probably the most tangible sign of whether or not things are going well for her overall, so the weigh-in is a pretty big deal to us. We're pleased to report that after a break-even performance in her first weigh in, Lexi tipped the scales at 10 pounds, 14 ounces yesterday, which is a solid 3 or 4 ounces above the weight at which she left the hospital. Given there are usually a couple feedings each day where we spend upwards of an hour getting her to take it, and given there is still some uncertainty regarding how her intestines will respond over the long term, we were very encouraged by seeing her pack on a few ounces. Weight gain might not be what she wants when she hits the teen years and beyond, but chubby limbs and double chins is the game plan right now if we have anything to say about it!

Midweek Help from Grandma

When Lexi was born, Laura took the first week off to heal and spend time with her. Then, she jumped back into work in hopes she could take some time off when Lexi came home. Unfortunately, Lexi's stay in the hospital was so long that it ran into the busiest part of Laura's work. Therefore, she doesn't have the leeway to take time off and only took Monday after Lexi came home as a vacation day. Adjusting to Lexi being home, caring for her, being up at night, and working full time has been quite the challenge and adjustment. So, Grandma Phyllis came down today to help us out and ease some of this stress on Laura.

Grandma Phyllis is taking her job pretty seriously by getting in naps with Lexi. The two crashed on the couch in the first hour that Grandma was here. We realize there are never enough hours in the day for any parent, but having Grandma Phyllis here seemingly helps create a few more hours in the day and has the bonus of bonding time between Lexi and Grandma. Grandma is enjoying seeing Lexi at home, and especially seeing her without any wires attached to her. As you can see, they are both comfortable with and enjoying each other.

And please, no comments on the different outfits in one day. We're trying to keep it to one, but so far we're averaging a pathetic three.

Adjusting to Life at Home

Lexi's first 48 hours at home have gone pretty well, all things considered. She did scream for virtually the entire afternoon the first day we were home, which put a tiny and brief damper on our excitement of finally having her home. However, we reasoned that she was probably overstimulated from her new surroundings and from seeing natural light pouring in for the first time, and we promptly ruled out the fact it could have anything to do with our parenting skills. A similar episode on Sunday afternoon poked a tiny hole in our theory, but we're still banking on the fact that going from 3+ months of dark and quiet NICU living -- to living at our house -- is an adjustment that will take a little while.

As for the evenings, they have gone better than anticipated. Alexis actually appears capable of sleeping through the night if we would let her, which is a good sign for the future. However, doctors' orders have us feeding her every three hours right now, day and night, until she she shows some measurable weight gain, so a good night's sleep will not be on our agenda for quite some time (we can hear everybody saying 'welcome to parenting' in unison right now.) She's worth it, though, and with any luck she will put on a few pounds sooner rather than later so we can at least give her the opportunity to sleep for longer stretches at night. We figure with a cozy environment like the one pictured, she should have no trouble sleeping like a baby!

As a side note, and to satisfy some potential curiosity out there after our last posting, it was the hospital's choice and not ours to have Mom carted to the front door in a wheelchair on Saturday. We were told at one point that Laura would still leave the hospital in a wheelchair with Lexi in her lap, regardless of the length of Lexi's NICU stay. We thought that was a joke, but found out on Saturday that we were mistaken. Frankly that is all the insight anyone should need into the sorry state of liability concerns and medical malpractice lawsuits these days. We were very close to pulling the trigger on Brian riding out in the wheelchair, as a symbol of just how ridiculous that rule is, but decided against it for fears that would be viewed as inappropriate by those who really need their wheelchairs. So, we snapped a quick picture right outside Lexi's room in the NICU, traded places, and then headed for the exits.