It is conference time in our school district. I dread this time every year! Where most parents get to go in and hear how wonderful their kids are, how they are excelling, how they love school, etc, we always get to go in and hear about Alexis's deficits and how she is behind. This year she got to join us! So, we heard from her teacher, with her there, how she is doing great with her reading, but needing to work on her comprehension of that reading (a big known struggle for those with language struggles). We heard how although math is starting to come along, she still needs to do some work with her math skills, as this is her biggest area of weakness. All of this we expected, as we see this same thing at home, and we know there is a big connection between understanding the language and vocabulary behind the reading and math. For math, when you are going to add, the language add, plus, more, additional, etc are all used for that. So, she needs to understand these all mean the same thing, which we have been approaching for a while.
What we didn't expect to hear is that she is having behavioral issues, esp when it comes to math time. Because it is difficult for her, she tends to give up and get silly (burry her hear and flop on the floor). She has also tried to take out scissors and cut up her homework. So, that is something we need to address with her, and have for several years. She wants to succeed and if she can't, she gives up. Hardest to figure out how to motivate her and explain that you have to keep trying to actually get it.
The other thing we didn't expect to hear is that her teacher doesn't hold her to the same expectation as the other kids. She expects her to behave and be in the area she should be, but she doesn't hold her to the same academic standards. This surprised us. Although her language slows her done, she has always shown learnability and a normal IQ...it may just take a little longer. So, we were sad to hear that she didn't hold her to those same standards. In talking to her language teacher, she says that Alexis is not displaying her true ability within the classroom, so the teacher isn't getting a good gauge there of her actual ability.
How do you explain to a kid that she has to try? That in order to succeed, she has to show how smart she is? That she won't move on to 2nd grade if she doesn't show that she can do it? How do you educate the teacher to have higher standards? How playing dumb isn't cute?
It is so hard to struggle through this year after year after year. To convince new teachers she has the ability, to convince Alexis to try, to convince everyone (including ourselves) to not give up. Hopefully as we navigate this, it will get easier. I will say, we do love her teacher and team, who are not giving up on her, even though she isn't showing her full abilities.
We had Conner's conference as well. He is doing great...a good friend, starting to read, and no complaints. It was a good counter balance.
